I have been playing with this idea for so long. It is about a girl who finds out that she’s a werewolf and her lover is a vampire. There really is much more to it then that, though. I need to know if my writing style is okay.
Chapter 1: I opened my eyes to see a ray of sunshine piercing through the curtains. The clock said it was 7:48. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom. There I was. In the mirror. My ultra-curly black hair, my porcelain skin, and my emerald green eyes. I could also see faint purple bruises under my eyes. I don’t really know how I got those. I usually slept pretty well. Maybe its those dreams. The ones about the wolves. The white one, the milky gold one, and the black one. But I didn’t need to worry about that, I’d get wrinkles. I don’t need wrinkles at fifteen–almost sixteen. I will be sixteen in a two months.
I went into the hallway and peeked into Ricky’s room. He is my older brother. He’s seventeen-next month he‘ll be eighteen. He has curly black hair, but his eyes are different. He has pale jade eyes. He was snoring. I padded down the steps and checked Sybil‘s, our aunt’s, room. She was sleeping as well. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a box of Cheerios out of the pantry. I poured a bowl and sat at the table. As I ate, I thought. I thought that these were stale, for one thing, and then I thought about love. Not the family kind. That is something I’ve never experienced before. And I didn’t usually think about it.
“Hey, Iris.” Sybil walked into the kitchen and sat across from me. I hadn’t realized that I was just sitting there blankly staring at my cereal. “Hi, Sybil. Just get up?” She nodded. My eyes swept over her. Her creamy pale skin, her tangled black hair, her pink silk pajamas, and her plush white slippers. I looked at my own pajamas. I was wearing a black shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “What are you doing today?” Sybil asked pouring a bowl of Cheerios for herself. “Well, I suppose I should get ready for my first day as a junior tomorrow.” I was a junior because I started school a little early. I’m not smart enough to have skipped a grade. “Sounds like fun. Need any help?” I shook my head. “Well, I just have to prepare myself. I’m facing school again. Any advice?” She shrugged. “Its too early for good advice, but I can try.” She started. “Try to make friends. I know that’s the same advice I gave on your first day of k-” I interrupted her. “I have friends.” She nodded. “See, not very good advice.” I thought of my friends who were now dating each other. Violet Reed and Jack Carnivelli. Violet with her curly blonde hair, button nose, and ocean blue eyes. Jack with his shaggy black hair, pale skin, and gray eyes. Both beautiful people dragged to my level. I was pretty, too, but I’m an outcast. “I think I’ll go to Violet’s later.” She nodded.
It was twelve’ o’ clock p.m. I knocked on the red door and waited. After a few minutes, Violet’s mom answered. Her blonde hair was raked into a messy ponytail. “Is Violet home?” She nodded and gestured for me to come in. “She’s upstairs in her room. Can I get you anything?” I shook my head. “Thank you.” I tiptoed up the steps just in case her little sister, Delilah, was still asleep. I knocked on the pink door. “Come in.” Violet said in a soft tone. “Oh, hey Iris. How’s it going?” I nodded. “Going fine.” she nodded, too. She patted the space beside her on her bed where she sat. she was still in a soft pink nightgown. Her walls and floors were pink, along with her bedspread. Posters of bands and actors were hanging on her walls. Teddy bears and family pictures sat on shelves, some books sat on them as well. On the nightstand sat a lamp with a furry hot-pink lampshade. A soft ping alarm clock sat there too, and a few Teen Vogue magazines.
I sat in the spot she patted. “What’s on your mind, kiddo?” She calls me kiddo because I’m younger than everyone else in our grade. She says I’m like her younger sister. “Nothing. I thought we could just hang out.” She nodded. “What are you doing for your sixteenth birthday?” She asked looking at me._________________________________________
I’m not very old. Only in the sixth grade. So I won’t be as good as the older writers.
I also need help with:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100710060659AAEX08F

Forget the link above and help with this question:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100710070818AANs9Bk

I have been playing with this idea for so long. It is about a girl who finds out that she’s a werewolf and her lover is a vampire. There really is much more to it then that, though. I need to know if my writing style is okay.
Chapter 1: I opened my eyes to see a ray of sunshine piercing through the curtains. The clock said it was 7:48. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom. There I was. In the mirror. My ultra-curly black hair, my porcelain skin, and my emerald green eyes. I could also see faint purple bruises under my eyes. I don’t really know how I got those. I usually slept pretty well. Maybe its those dreams. The ones about the wolves. The white one, the milky gold one, and the black one. But I didn’t need to worry about that, I’d get wrinkles. I don’t need wrinkles at fifteen–almost sixteen. I will be sixteen in a two months.
I went into the hallway and peeked into Ricky’s room. He is my older brother. He’s seventeen-next month he‘ll be eighteen. He has curly black hair, but his eyes are different. He has pale jade eyes. He was snoring. I padded down the steps and checked Sybil‘s, our aunt’s, room. She was sleeping as well. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a box of Cheerios out of the pantry. I poured a bowl and sat at the table. As I ate, I thought. I thought that these were stale, for one thing, and then I thought about love. Not the family kind. That is something I’ve never experienced before. And I didn’t usually think about it.
“Hey, Iris.” Sybil walked into the kitchen and sat across from me. I hadn’t realized that I was just sitting there blankly staring at my cereal. “Hi, Sybil. Just get up?” She nodded. My eyes swept over her. Her creamy pale skin, her tangled black hair, her pink silk pajamas, and her plush white slippers. I looked at my own pajamas. I was wearing a black shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “What are you doing today?” Sybil asked pouring a bowl of Cheerios for herself. “Well, I suppose I should get ready for my first day as a junior tomorrow.” I was a junior because I started school a little early. I’m not smart enough to have skipped a grade. “Sounds like fun. Need any help?” I shook my head. “Well, I just have to prepare myself. I’m facing school again. Any advice?” She shrugged. “Its too early for good advice, but I can try.” She started. “Try to make friends. I know that’s the same advice I gave on your first day of k-” I interrupted her. “I have friends.” She nodded. “See, not very good advice.” I thought of my friends who were now dating each other. Violet Reed and Jack Carnivelli. Violet with her curly blonde hair, button nose, and ocean blue eyes. Jack with his shaggy black hair, pale skin, and gray eyes. Both beautiful people dragged to my level. I was pretty, too, but I’m an outcast. “I think I’ll go to Violet’s later.” She nodded.
It was twelve’ o’ clock p.m. I knocked on the red door and waited. After a few minutes, Violet’s mom answered. Her blonde hair was raked into a messy ponytail. “Is Violet home?” She nodded and gestured for me to come in. “She’s upstairs in her room. Can I get you anything?” I shook my head. “Thank you.” I tiptoed up the steps just in case her little sister, Delilah, was still asleep. I knocked on the pink door. “Come in.” Violet said in a soft tone. “Oh, hey Iris. How’s it going?” I nodded. “Going fine.” she nodded, too. She patted the space beside her on her bed where she sat. she was still in a soft pink nightgown. Her walls and floors were pink, along with her bedspread. Posters of bands and actors were hanging on her walls. Teddy bears and family pictures sat on shelves, some books sat on them as well. On the nightstand sat a lamp with a furry hot-pink lampshade. A soft ping alarm clock sat there too, and a few Teen Vogue magazines.
I sat in the spot she patted. “What’s on your mind, kiddo?” She calls me kiddo because I’m younger than everyone else in our grade. She says I’m like her younger sister. “Nothing. I thought we could just hang out.” She nodded. “What are you doing for your sixteenth birthday?” She asked looking at me._________________________________________
I’m not very old. Only in the sixth grade. So I won’t be as good as the older writers.
I also need help with:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100710060659AAEX08F

Forget the link above and help with this question:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100710070818AANs9Bk